OPERATION: SWITCH
by Meowlister Memsie
Summary: When Numbuh 3 and Numbuh 4 switch bodies because of Numbuh 2 and his faulty inventions. When Numbuh 1 and Numbuh 362 switch bodies because of Numbuh 4 and his reading impairment. When KND operatives switch bodies because of Numbuhs 86 and 60 and their inability to shut up. NEW SERIES!
1. Faulty Invention

**OPERATION: S.W.I.T.C.H.**

_**Soopernaturally**_

_**Wierd**_

_**Incident**_

_**Terrorizes**_

_**Children**_

_**Horribly**_

...

"Are you sure this is safe, Numbuh 2?" Sector V's leader, Numbuh 1, asks in skepticism.

"Oh yeah!" the technology genius reassures. "It's just gonna make them float like balloons until I deactivate the effects."

"It's not gonna blow my insides out, is it?" Numbuh 4 inquires as Numbuh 5 straps him into the haphazard glass contraption. "Because I swear that will be last thing you'll ever do."

Numbuh 2 waves his hand as if he were physically swatting the possibility of error away. "Calm down, Numbuh 4. It'll just be for a moment."

"Yeah, Numbuh 4!" Numbuh 3 exclaims from her spot in the mechanism beside her teammate. "Just think about it. We'll be flying! Oh, I forgot my I'm Floating Around In Midair Because Of Homemade Technology Rainbow Monkey!"

"Calm down?!" Numbuh 4 screeches, wriggling against the restrains. "The only reason why I'm here in this cruddy thing is because the Deep Sea Lab won't give you any more test monkeys _after you almost decommissioned the last ones_!"

Undaunted by his past failures, Numbuh 2 scampers excitedly to his control box on the other side of the room. "Every scientist makes mistakes, Numbuh 4. Numbuh 1, Numbuh 5, step away from the masterpiece please. " Reluctantly, they comply and they huddle behind Numbuh 2.

"Normal procedure?" Numbuh 5 says to her leader. "You call Numbuh 362, and Numbuh 5 gets the hospital wing?"

"Yep."

"T minus five seconds!" Numbuh 2 says dramatically, a finger on a lever embedded into the wooden control box. Numbuh 4's struggles intensifies. "Four! Three! Two! One!"

The gargantuan machine containing the two operatives is filled with charges of electricity, the remainder of the room seemingly dark in comparison. Numbuh 3 squeals in glee and Numbuh 4 yelps in surprise. As the illumination recedes, the subjects hang limp and asleep in the straps. Eagerly, Numbuh 2 races forward and rips the confines off. They drop to the floor, not a hint of altitude in sight.

"Numbuh 2!" Numbuh 1 reprimands, darting to the operatives. "What did you do?!"

"Dunno," Numbuh 2 replies in confusion as he scratches his hat. "I checked and perfected the circuitry a buhmillion times, and I tested the model out on a hamster! It was fine then!" He yelps as fabric whips him across the head.

"Stupid!" Numbuh 5 scolds. "Clearly, it ain't working now! This is exactly why you weren't given volunteers!"

"Relax Numbuh 5," Numbuh 1 says from beside the affected. "They're breathing just fine, there're no injuries; I think they just need time."

Numbuh 5 glares pointedly at Numbuh 2. "Got lucky this time, Einstein the Second. Help Numbuh 5 carry'em to their rooms."

**...**

Numbuh 3's eyes ease open. The sudden light blinds her for a second, something moist pressed on her forehead. Her vision adjusts just enough for her of her room and the tops of the oversized Rainbow Monkeys lining the space. From the corner of her eye, her teammate looks down at her in relief.

"Numbuh 3," Numbuh 5 says in concern. "How you feeling?"

"Numbuh 3?" she mumbles groggily. "What the crud are you talking about?"

"What the crud are _you _talking about?" Numbuh 5 counters. "Gosh, did that dingus actually decommission you?"

"No," Numbuh 3 says indignantly. "Perfectly fine."

Her caretaker shrugs. "Here." She nestles an orange Monkey into the crook of Numbuh 3's arm. "You feeling better?"

"No," she repeats, pushing the toy over the edge of her bed that is merely an enlarged version of it. "Why're you trying to make me feel better with those Rainbow Dorkies?"

Numbuh 5 seems taken aback. "Numbuh 3, you love them!"

"I ain't Numbuh 3!"

"Yeah, you are!" Numbuh 5 insists. She grabs a fistful of the clearly confused girl's hair and lets it go over her eyes so she could see. "_You're Numbuh 3_."

The girl bolts upright, despite her disoriented state. The damp cloth resting on her forehead falls to her lap. Frantically, her violet eyes jump from one point of the bedroom to another. They eventually roam to her own body, and they widen. Numbuh 3 jumps from her plushie bed with a squeak.

"Numbuh 3?" Numbuh 5 asks in worry, approaching the frightened girl.

She jerks away. "Don't touch me!" she commands. Abruptly, she begins to quiver.

"What's wrong, Numbuh 3?"

"I'm not Numbuh 3!" she insists. "Wh-what is this madness?! _Why am I this cruddy girly girl_?"

Numbuh 5 blinks in surprise. "You were always a girl, Numbuh 3."

"Stop calling me that! I'm Numbuh 4, not Numbuh 3!"

Numbuh 5 splutters in bewilderment. "_Numbuh 4_?"

"Yes!" the apparent boy screams, hands in the air. "Yes! Numbuh 4, thank you very much! What am I doing like this?"

"NUMBUH 1!" Numbuh 5 bellows. "NUMBUH 1! GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE, ASA-NOW!"

"WHAT?" Numbuh 1 replies equally as loud from somewhere in the treehouse of epic proportions? "WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"For Numbuh 0's sake," she mutters angrily, marching out to the exit and to the hall. Supposed Numbuh 4 follows suit as Numbuh 5 sprints down to Numbuh 4's bedroom. As they run, Numbuh 3 collides painfully with Numbuh 4. Both are sent to the floor.

"Ouchie!" the usually tough fighter exclaims, rubbing his head from his place on the ground. "Watch where you're going, will you?"

The two's eyes lock momentarily. They shout in horror, skittering back.

"What is happening he-" Numbuh 1's inquiry is cut short as he rounds the corner with the company of Numbuh 2.

"Numbuh 3," Numbuh 5 pants. "Er, Numbuh 4 looks like Numbuh 3. Been saying she's Numbuh 4 since she woke up."

"I am Numbuh 4!"

"Numbuh 4's been doing the same," Numbuh 2 comments.

"It's Numbuh 3," Numbuh 4 says coldly. "And why does _that _look like me?" His finger hones on the child opposite of him.

"And why do _you _look like me?" Numbuh 4 asks in frustration.

Numbuh 5's hand flies to her mouth. "You don't think..."

"Think what?" Numbuh 2 questions.

"You don't think they switched bodies, do you?" The single sentence sends the operatives in question gasping for breath.

"It's possible," Numbuh 2 says warily. "I mean, it makes sense."

"Well you gotta switch us back!" Numbuh 3 exclaims. "I can't stay a cruddy girl!"

"You _do _know how to reverse them, right?" Numbuh 1 says. "They can't stay like this."

"I guess I'll use the deactivator for the human-helium experiment, but I can't make promises that it's gonna work."

Once again, a flash of red snaps the technology officer. "This is why you're banned from the Test Subject Distribution, Numbuh 2."


	2. Reading Impairment

**Just had it sitting on my tablet. Dunno if it's as good as the last one, but here you go. This one shot it officially a twoshot.**

**#stopGKND**

The quiet Virginia town grows rapidly as Numbuh 362 of the Kids Next Door nears the treehouse of epic proportion. The leader is unfazed by the predicament; Numbuh 2 is right up there with Numbuh 13 with his amount of infamous blunders, afterall. _Honestly, _the Soopreme Leaduh silently says. _You think people would remember that a boy that owns a detective coat and makes rockets for the sole purpose of reading Rainbow Monkey in private shouldn't be trusted with potential explosives._

As her S.C.A.M.P.E.R. docks at Sector V's headquaters, Numbuh 1 rushes to greet her with the respectful salute.

"At ease," she says to the Brit. "Where's the victims?"

"Upstairs. NUMBUH 5, SHE'S HERE!" he screams over his shoulder, causing his superior officer to flinch.

"ALRIGHT!" she replies with equal loudness. "TELL HER WE'RE IN THE BRIEFING ROOM AND HOAGIE EDISON IS HANDCUFFED TO THE FRIDGE!"

"WHY THE FRIDGE?"

"HE KEEPS GETTING HUNGRY!"

"OKAY!" He returns his attention to his Supreme Leader. "Do you want to meet them there or where the machine is?"

Numbuh 362 licks her lip in thought. "Machine."

"WHERE'S THE MACHINE?"

Pause. "THE DISHRAG SAYS IT'S IN HIS ROOM!"

"WE'RE GONNA MEET NUMBUH 2 THERE!"

"SHOULD NUMBUH 5 UNCUFF HIM?"

"YEAH! WHERE'D YOU GET THEM ANYWAY?"

"NUMBUH 5 KNOWS A GUY!"

"COOL! It's in Num-"

"I know, Numbuh 1." Numbuh 362 starts for the exit. "I think the whole Seventh Age knows."

**...**

"Here she is," Numbuh 2 mumbles guiltily, gesturing towards the contraption. Numbuh 362's brow furrows as she scrutinizes it.

"Numbuh 2, this really doesn't look all that safe." She steps through the open door and into the mechanism and intently studies the exposed circuitry and crude choices of tape placement. "I'll have to get Numbuh 222.2 and Numbuh 74.239 to check this out."

"Here," Numbuh 1 says as he joins her in the chamber, "is where Numbuhs 3 and 4 were when this was activated. After that, they just fell."

Th Soopreme Leaduh sighs in exasperation. "Numbuh 2, what were you thinking? You could've just built this in the Deep Sea Lab."

"But I had it all planned out!" he protests. "I even tested it out on some hamsters, food, Rainbow Monkeys, and even Bradley; everything worked then!"

"It might've, but people are different," Numbuh 362 vocalizes as she inspects the structure.

"I know! All I planned to do was magnify the power for humans, make people float, then just reverse them. Here, look." The usual mastermind flips on the control board. The door seals shut, trapping the operatives inside. Maintaining a serene exterior, Numbuh 2 flicks the lever labelled _Entrance. _However, nothing budges.

"Numbuh 2!" The leader of Sector V's call is slightly muffled, his knuckles pounding the glass. "Open the door!"

Attempting to comply, Numbuh 2 furiously and repeatedly pulls the switch from _On _to _Off_.

"I swear," Numbuh 362 threatens, "if we're stuck in this deathtrap, I will personally decommission you."

With a sharp intake of breath, the technologist bellows, "NUMBUH 5, I KINDA NEED HELP!"

"NUMBUH ZERO, WHAT THE CRUD DID YOU DO?"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

"Surprise, surprise," Numbuh 5 mutters as she bolts to the scene with her remaining teammates hot in her heels. Distant shouts and thumps meet their ears and entices their curiosities. Upon the three's arrival, they jump in shock at their confined peers.

"It's jammed!" Numbuh 2 exclaims, diving to the multiple cords hooked to the control panel.

"For the sake of Munchies," Numbuh 4-um, 3- grumbles. Stomping his way to the apparatus, he kicks at the seams.

"That won't work!" Numbuh 2 yells over the noise. "They've been at it for five minutes already!"

"Can you unplug this or something?" the hysterical superior screeches from beyond the restriction.

"Nope. Numbuh 3, or whoever you are, try it again."

Numbuh '3' studies the keys. "It's Numbuh 4, and which one?" s/he asks.

"Leaping Lizzies, Numbuh 4, they're labelled!" Numbuh 1 hollers over the confirmed Numbuh 3's persistent punts.

"So? Whatever, I got it!" The body of Numbuh 3 thumbs a lever.

"No, not th-" Numbuh 2's words are overpowered by the whir of the engines and the screams of the instrument's occupants. They're concealed **(conceal don't feel don't let them knooooooww hahaha ok bye) **with the same burst of electricity that the previous subjects experienced. As it dies down, the leaders slump to the ground.

"Numbuh 3!" Numbuh 5 reprimands as she rushes to the door that, at last, opened.

"For the last cruddy time, I'm Numbuh 4!"

"That doesn't help anything!" Numbuh 5 snaps. "Oh, we are so gonna get it! No, actually, we're not. _Numbuh 2_ is gonna be the one that gets it because _he doesn't know when to stop using a body-switching crisis-making robot_!"

**...**

A haphazard wooden ceiling is all that is visible as the praised Numbuh 362 eases her eyelids up. Sunlight glares in her face before it rapidly recedes. _This isn't home, nor is it the treehouse. _In her state of confusion, she shifts to her side to see the cockpit of a S.C.A.M.P.E.R. with the outline of Numbuh 2 and Numbuh 4 just visible.

"Numbuh 2? Numbuh 4?" she croaks. The operatives turn, and the nurse in the body of a combat specialist rushes over with a plastic medical case in hand.

"How do you feel?" he asks as he presses his hand to her forehead.

"Peachy," she replies grumpily. She looks at the pilot and the puffy clouds beyond the windshield. "What happened and where are we going?"

"You and Numbuh 362 switched," Numbuh 2 says, "and we're taking you guys to Moonbase. Numbuh 5 and Numbuh 4 are taking the spare ride."

Numbuh '4' yelps as the patient bolts upright. She frantically looks down at her new attire and body before she slowly glares at Numbuh 2. "What on Earth made you think that a visual demonstration of a personality-switching machine while people were inside it was a good idea?" she growls.

"I wasn't the one that turned it on!" Numbuh 2 exclaims defensively.

"You locked us in there!" Numbuh 362's figure roars. "You didn't even choose somebody literate to use the controls! Do you know how chaotic this organization will be if everybody knew h-"

"NUMBUH 2!" a voice riddled with static screams, cutting the rant off. "YOU BETTER CHANGE US BACK OR ELSE!"

"We're going to Moonbase, okay?" the technologist says into a miniscule black device by the dashboard. The sky outside darkens with altitude. "You'll be examined for a solution."

"HOW COULD YOU BE SO DENSE?!" the screech continues. "IF WORD GETS OUT, THE KIDS NEXT DOOR WILL HAVE YET ANOTHER WEAKNESS! WE'LL BE VULNERABLE! EVERYTHING IS AT S..."

A small chime sounds, and Numbuh 4 pulls a talkie from his pocket. After listening to it for a few moments she says, "Okay, no problem."

"...LD BE TAKEN DOWN FOR GOOD!"

"Nothing will happen unless we get this done with," Numbuh 2 reassures, oblivious to the near presence of Numbuh 4's armed body. He shrieks as a S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R. whips him across the head.

"That's for Numbuh 5!" Abby's voice calls from the depths of the speaker.


	3. Unsettled Argument

**OPERATION: S.W.I.T.C.H. is officially a series!**

**Dedicated to kids in desperate need for anger management.**

Numbuh 2 of the Sector V grits his teeth in determination whilst his hysterical leader shouts threats behind him and his female comrade in orange does little to subdue it. To his relief, the elaborate structure of Kids Next Door Moonbase nears. Approaching the port, he parks.

A ruffle of static emits from the speaker in the dashboard. "How does Numbuh 5 land?" his teammate asks. "Or do you not know that either?"

He rolls his eyes. "Just use the brakes." Feeling daring, he adds, "The brakes are things that stops stuff."

"Shuddup." From his rearview mirror, Numbuh 2 watches the spare S.C.A.M.P.E.R. as it eases into place by an amateur pilot. Impatiently, Numbuh 1-slash-362 stomps out with Numbuh 3's body hot on his/her heels. The occupants of Numbuh 2's S.C.A.M.P.E.R. follows suit.

The six have hardly made it five steps into Moonbase when they are forced to a screeching halt. Literally.

"Oooh, what do we have here?" Numbuh 86 says to Numbuh 1's face. The girl inside rolls her eyes. "Another stupid boy without docking permission! I thought I made the procedure boy-proof, but _no. _I can't believe I didn't realize that a stupid boy's stupid brain can't handle even the stupidest instructions! Oh, wait 'til Numbuh 362 hears about this! Maybe she'll have you demoted, or maybe she'll have you decommissioned! I should go warm up the Chamber right now!"

"Numbuh 86." The Soopreme Leaduh steps forward, the officer unaware that she's being fooled. "That won't be necessary; they're with me."

Reluctantly, Numbuh 86 steps aside to admit the party. If you strained your ears and focused, you could hear multiple exhales of relief.

As they make their way to the labs, Numbuh 2 mutters, "Cow."

**...**

The silence is this as Numbuh 3 and Numbuh 4 are strapped down with duct tape for examination, Numbuh 1 and Numbuh 362 waiting for their turn. The two lucky operatives are approached by Numbuh 74.239.

"So," he says with the roll of his lisp, "what was the incident this time?"

"W-" Numbuh 2 begins, but he's quickly cut off.

"Thomas Edison here tried to make them fly, but he ended up switching them." Numbuh 5 looks pointedly at the technologist. "As the only sane one here, Numbuh 5 suggests you don't go check out the contraption."

"Hey, I wasn't switched too!" Numbuh 2 says.

"Numbuh 5 said _sane_, not _switched_."

Before a retort could come, Numbuh 74.239 gasps and hurries to one of the several monitors that are hooked up to the two kids. "The source! We have the source!" The fellow scientists gather around the screen.

"What is it?" Numbuh 1's body asks.

Numbuh 74.239 gives her a dismissive wave. "It's very complicated, too many elements to comprehend. We can reverse these effects if Numbuh 2 is willing to name the software and chemicals he used."

"Oh yeah!" Numbuh 2 is passed a pencil and a notepad.

"Thank you, Numbuh 74.239," the Soopreme Leaduh says gratefully. "Maybe you will get that lab expansion. Anyways, we can't let any of this get out! Father'll see it as an opportunity to strike."

"You have my word, sir." The scientist turns to his team. "What stays here, stays here!" The kids nod in agreement.

The heavy lab doors suddenly burst open, loud bickering following.

"I'M TELLING YOU, IT'S NOT MY FAULT!" Numbuh 60 of Arctic Base yells.

"OH YEAH?" Numbuh 86 screeches back. "THEN WHOSE IS IT? WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BRING THAT STUPID TEEN TO THE PRISON, HUH?"

"WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO DECOMMISSION THE 'STUPID TEEN'? YOU WERE! ABSOLUTELY NONE OF THIS IS MY FAULT! YOU JUST CAN'T HANDLE BEING AT FAULT!"

Numbuh 86 screams is frustration. "THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU STUPID BOYS! ARROGANCE, IGNORANCE, STUPIDITY! THAT TEEN WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DECOMMISSIONED TOMORROW, AND YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DETAIN HIM!"

"UGH, YOU ARE IMPOSSIBLE!" Numbuh 60 roars. "THAT'S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS! GOSH, IF I WERE YOU, I'D BURN MYSELF ALIVE!"

"IF I WERE YOU, I'D HANG MYSELF FROM THE STATUE OF LIBERTY!"

"Woah!" Numbuh 1's face says, stepping in between the feud. "What's happening here?"

"MOVE IT, YOU STUPID BOY!" Numbuh 86 snarls as she tries to get to the drill sergeant.

"CAN YOU NOT THINK OF ANYTHING WITTIER?" he shouts in return.

"Shut it, both of you!" Numbuh 1's appearance orders. Neither of the operatives take heed. After all, he wasn't their commanding officer, now was he?

"Hey!" They silence themselves when they hear Numbuh 362's voice. "Just for now, listen to Numbuh 1! Understood?"

"Yes sir," they reply, venom dripping from their tones and their icy glares.

"Thanks," the real Numbuh 362 says with appreciation. "Now, what's the matter? Numbuh 60?"

He huffs. "Little Miss I'm Always Right So Bow Down To Me is saying that Numbuh 6300's escape _is all my fault_, which it isn't! She was supposed to lock him up in the Decom Ward herself. But no, she blaming me for not doing _her _job and she was giving me orders like she's Numbuh 362! She even tried to put 6300 in the villains' reserve!"

The girl scoffs. "Nuh-uh! 6300's birthday is _tomorrow_, so he should be in the Prison 'til then! As head of the base, you should've been the one to bring him there! The procedure hasn't changed, Numbuh 60, and it hasn't since... ever!"

**Meanwhile...**

Numbuh 2 stands by, supervising the recreation of his body-switching machine. A committee of engineers and scientists crowd the site.

"A little to left, okay! No no, the coding is wrong. Perfect!" He turns to Numbuh 74.239, who is a short distance away with Numbuh 5 for a quick interview. "She's ready!"

"Excellent!" He hurries to the contraption as the team admires their teamwork. "Is the circuitry _exactly _how it was before?"

"Positive."

"Alrighty then. Release Subject 3 and Subject 4!"

**Back to the fight that's probably gonna end with somebody's need for therapy!**

Numbuh 86 and Numbuh 60 are in each other's faces, fingers pointing accusingly at their opponent.

"Guys!" The two stop to look at who they believe is Numbuh 1. "You wanna know what I think?"

"No," they snap in unison.

This is disregarded. "I think none of us would be in this position if you two would just cooperate! Both of you are very involved in the Kids Next Door, and that means you'll be seeing each other almost everyday. Get used to it! Something is going to blow up because neither of you are willing to agree!"

They open their mouths to protest. After all, Numbuh 1 is in no position to tell them what to do. What is he, Numbuh 362?

"I think Numbuh 1 is right." Numbuh 1 inwardly cringes at refering to himself in third person, but it seems that the Soopreme Leaduh's word is what they listen to. "If you can at least compromise, you can actually keep your voices!" At their slight skepticism, he adds, "Why waste all your insults on one person when you can evenly distribute it among twenty?"

"NUMBUH 362, NUMBUH 1!" The call causes all four to turn to Numbuh 74.239, who is beckoning them over. "It's time!"

"Okay," Numbuh 362's face says, "we're leaving now. _No fighting. _Understood?"

"Yes sir," they mumble reluctantly.

"Good."

The moment they are alone, a whispered conversation begins.

"I believe you owe me an apology," Numbuh 60 mutters. "You heard Numbuh 362 and Numbuh 1."

Numbuh 86 scoffs. "Do not! If anything, you owe me one!"

The matter bounces back and forth, its volume steadily increasing. Numbuh 86 suddenly shoves Numbuh 60 slightly, and he quickly returns the favor. They continue, slowly making their way towards the personality-flopping device as they stumble back. Deciding the situation could only be resolved by their superior officer, they bolt to her current location, still pushing one another in the meantime.

As the feuding operatives reach who they believe is Numbuh 362, s/he says, "Numbuh 86, Numbuh 60! I'm in the middle of something _very _important right now!" The words are slightly muffled due to its speaker's place inside the mechanism.

"Tell _that,_" Numbuh 60 snarls when he gestures to his coworker, "that she's wrong and she should be the one saying sorry."

"Numbuh 362," Numbuh 86 interjects. "You have to understand! If he's not sorry for being the wrong one, he should at least be apologizing for being such a screw-up!"

They scream objections together, and the verbal struggle turns physical.

"SHUT THE DOOR!" Numbuh 5 shouts from the spectators. A kid at the control board slaps a button, and the door starts to rumble shut.

Numbuh 86 staggers back by a rough shove until she's inside the machine's chamber with the other four. As she stumbles, she grasps Numbuh 60 by the collar and drags him with her. The replica seals itself closed.

Due to programming, the contraption whirs to life automatically. It blinds everyone with a glaring white light and the kids inside are deafeningly loud.

There are approximately two hundred highly trained scientists; the best in the Age, in fact. They are able to make what was deemed impossible. They could make Father breakdance if they had the correct equipment. Heck, they probably can remember pi to the buhmillionth digit. So why didn't they notice there are _six _occupants?


	4. Uncontrollable Loudmouth

**AN: This particular story and **_**2034**_** will have irregular, slow updates. Our priority is **_**OPERATION: DELIGHTFUL **_**due to its clear popularity. While these are all written by different people on this account, we must edit the three ongoing stories and all oneshots.**

**Thank you, and enjoy reading! -Jess**

**V**

**Dedicated to you blabbermouths and shortys.**

The sudden gust of light recedes, revealing the limp bodies of- you guessed it- six operatives. The scientists and engineers rush to their aid, only realizing their mistake now.

"Holy Zero," Numbuh 5 says with a breath. Numbuh 2 leaves her side and joins the clamor. "Numbuh 5 said to close the cruddy door!"

"This is no time for _I told you so_!" Numbuh 2 replies with panic. "Do you know what this means for us? We could have our funds extracted, our labs sold!"

Numbuh 74.239 steps from the crowd, fanning himself. "Numbuh 86 and Numbuh 60 are gonna freak! We're so done for!"

"Chill," Numbuh 5 reassures in the very voice she uses to calm her nephew. "If this... _thingy_ here is supposed to _reverse _everyone, maybe they didn't switch." This seems viable to the mass of nerds, and they exhale a long overdue breath.

"What do you think we should do with them?" a scientist asks, head through the door.

"I'd say just leave them there," Numbuh 2 replies. "Too much to carry, anyway." They nod in understanding.

"Guess all that's left to do is wait," Numbuh 74.239 says, and he and his team take their seats.

Unbeknown to them all, a subject has already awoken. He stirs on the floor slightly, not enough to garner attention. He doesn't lift a thing for he is in too much pain.

_What happened? _He takes note of the hard bed he lies on and the strong scent of chemicals and fried technology. Taking no heed of the agony, he opens his eyes. What he sees is nothing short of shocking: _bodies._

_THIS IS NOT OKAY._

Wrenching his hand from its anchored spot, he reaches out to prod his neighbor, Numbuh 4. But as soon as he does, he retracts with a feral scream.

The spectators hurry to the device with a goal of subduing the hysterical kid. The subject jolts upright, mouth gaping and eyes churning with horror at the sight of the reflection. Staring back from the glass walls is Numbuh 60. Skittering back until his back hits the wall. Another bloodcurdling screech makes the onlookers cower.

"Numbuh 60!" Numbuh 74.239 exclaims. "You must calm down!"

"STOP THAT!" he screams in reply. "STOP THAT CRUD RIGHT NOW! _WHAT IS THIS?_"

"Subject!" the scientist yells, scared to address him by his codename. Numbuh 60 is seized and dragged out of the machine. "Please calm down, and we'll explain everything!" His words do little to subdue him.

"GET ME OUT!" he screeches. "IF THIS IS A PRANK, IT'S NOT A VERY FUNNY ONE!"

"This ain't no joke!" Numbuh 5 says, grabbing Numbuh 60 by the shoulders. "Just chill, Numbuh 60."

"I'M NOT NUMBUH 60!" he yells, his appearance contradicting as it says otherwise. "YOU IDIOTS, I'M NUMBUH _86_!"

From the corner, Numbuh 2 snickers to himself. "This is gonna get good," he mutters.

The other five children in the device shift ever-so-slightly, but they still manage to capture everyone's attention. Several rush to them as aids. Slowly, Numbuh 362 sits up with a groan. Onlookers watch in anticipation, silently hoping for signs of success.

"Did it work?" she mumbles quietly, yet her voice projects. "Are we good?"

"Depends," Numbuh 5 says from 86's side. "Who do you think you are? **(RUNNING 'ROUND LEAVING SCAAAAARS)**"

"I'm Numbuh 1," she replies. "Nigel Uno." The wishfuls exhale in disappointment at their failure.

"Then no," Numbuh 74.239 says as he scribbles something onto a blue notepad. "It didn't. Sorry."

The apparent boy sighs and leans to the wall, burying his face in his hands. "No," he mumbles. "No, no, no. It was supposed to work. I can't stay like this. _We _can't stay like this."

"We're sorry, Numbuh 1. Really, we are." 74.239 scratches his head, looking at his pad. "We just can't figure this out. We need time, a lot of it."

"Is _that _what's going on?" Numbuh 86/60 says in disbelief.

"Yes," the scientist replies solemnly. "Unfortunately, a few operatives have switched bodies, and you and Numbuh 60 accidentally got changed."

"_And you can't fix it_?" she says. "Oh, if you can't fix it, I'll have you decommissioned! I'll sue you for your lab! I'll have Numbuh 362 chuck you in Arctic Prison! I _knew _you weren't qualified for any of this. I warned Numbuh 362, and now we're all flip-flopped! YOU STUPID, STUPID IDIOT!"

"Can you shut your trap?!" Heads turn to Numbuh 86's body in the machine. "Even when you're me, you're irritating as f-"

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" Numbuh 60's screams. "YOU'RE JUST A STUPID BOY!"

"CAN YOU NOT THINK OF ANYTHING WITTY TO SAY?"

"GUYS!" the girly Numbuh 1 yells. "FIGHTING ISN'T GONNA SOLVE THIS!"

The remaining three subjects yawn as they sit up, the feud in their wake. They watch in confuzzlement and slight terror as the two most disagreeable operatives argue. Numbuh 1 continues shouting peaces, but only when a scientist walks up behind each of the fighters do they shut the heck up. Numbuhs 86 and 60 collapse in heaps, syringes in the nerds' hands.

"I knew these would come in handy!" one comments. "Peace and quiet for a couple minutes."

"So, it didn't work?" Numbuh 4's body asks, rubbing his head. "We're still stuck?"

"Perhaps, perhaps not." Numbuh 74.239 inspects something on his little notebook. "The product X17-90 **(idk lol random name)**, an artificial chemical utilized by people with medical field occupations, may possess the power of personality reversal. Application may be a tedious, painstaking process, but I believe that it is potent enough."

Of the dozens of children in the room, only the science geeks understood what was said. The others, even Numbuh 2, are dumbfounded.

"What?" Numbuh 5 inquires. "The heck d'you just say?"

Sighing, Numbuh 74.239 says, "Right. I forgot to consider the simplicity of the common, typical child. There's a chemical called X17-90 that can switch you all back."

The four affected kids grow ecstatic at the thought. "Great!" Numbuh 1's body exclaims. "Where is it?"

"That's the problem. Making X17-90 can take up to two weeks, and it isn't anywhere on the market."

"You've gotta be kidding me!" Numbuh 4 says from 3's mouth. "Our parents are gonna flip at this crud! We can't go out like _this_! What about stuff like school? What about missions? _How are we gonna go to the bathroom_?"

Everyone shivers at his final question. "We'll cross that bridge when we get there," the actual Numbuh 362 says in disgust. "Just don't drink anything."

"What about _me_?" the real Numbuh 3 asks, standing and exiting the contraption. "I can't see anything! Numbuh 4's too short!"

The shortcake in question seethes. "Not true! You're lucky to be me and not some freak like Numbuh 86!"

"Shut it, Numbuh 4!" Numbuh 2 says frantically. "She might hear you!"

Eyes turn to the spots where Numbuh 86 and Numbuh 60 fell, only to find them empty.

**...**

Numbuh 411 **(oh, Amy Poehler) **of the Kids Next Door is what many would call a gossip. A loudmouth. A tattletale. She always was, always is. When she was offered a place on the KND's _Gossip Kid _magazine, she was more than happy to accept. Since then, she scoured Earth and the moon for only the juiciest drama to publish, personal to people or not. Badgering several for interviews or thoughts on just about anything, she has gained a rather unfortunate reputation to add to her bubbly personality. Despite it all, she doesn't care.

Today is a bland, uneventful day on Moonbase. With no rumors or hot topics to exploit, Numbuh 411 treats herself to a stroll around the building. Maybe a sudden fight or romantic gesture will go down. Maybe she can eavesdrop on some girl talk, which (if you haven't guessed yet) she isn't invited to often.

Crossing the bridge between the west and east wings of Moonbase's lower deck, she hears the shouts of a squabble. They're rapidly growing closer. Grinning to herself, Numbuh 411 procures a small pink voice recorder, courtesy of a female smartypants that would give her lungs for a free subscription for _Gossip Kid_. Pressing the single button on it, she approaches the source of the next edition's "cat fight of the week."

Tossing her honey locks over her shoulder, she walks down numerous corridors before coming upon a large, metal double door. _MOONBASE QUARTERS OF SCIENCE, AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY _plastered in red across it. In front of it are the Soopreme Leaduh's first-hand operatives, Numbuh 60 and Numbuh 86. As usual, they're in a deep quarrel.

"IT WAS YOU'RE FA-"

"-ST LISTEN FOR JUST ONE SE-"

"-UPID BOYS NEVER GET AN-"

"Yoohoo!" Numbuh 411 says over the earsplitting screeches. "Over here!"

When the two pay her zero attention, she hurries to their sides. "Hey! What's going on?"

"NOW I'M STUCK IN YOU'RE STUPID BODY!"

"TRUST ME, IT'S NO PICNIC IN YOURS EITHER!"

Mustering up volume, the reporter screams, "HELLO?!"

Silencing upon noticing her, the two narrow their eyes. Though Numbuh 411 has said nothing about her motives, they already know. They nod their heads simultaneously in acknowledgement, still burning from the verbal fight.

"Hello hello," Numbuh 411 says cheerfully, despite the stormy atmosphere. "Just out of pure curiosity, what's the four-one-one?"

"Oooh, I'll tell you what the _four-one-one _is!" Numbuh 60 says spitefully, his words unlike him. "This stupid, poor excuse for a kid we have here JUST DOESN'T KNOW WHEN TO SHUT THE CRUD UP! Ignorant, egocentric, doesn't know when everything's his fault! And to top it all off with a rotten, spoiled cherry, I have to be him. Those stupid nerds in the MQS CAN'T GET US BACK!"

"Oh, _I'm _the stupid one?!" Numbuh 86 snarls in reply. "You're too dimwitted to realize that you aren't royalty! _Nobody _worships you; _nobody _wants to bow down to you; heck, _nobody likes you_! Just sit down and know that the universe doesn't revolve around you! You aren't high and mighty, so shut up!"

In the midst of being enthralled, Numbuh 411 catches a duck in a flock of geese. "Be him? And the scientists can't get you back?"

"Those idiots switched us!" Numbuh 60 exclaims. "I ain't stupid Numbuh 60, I'm Numbuh 86! They even got Numbuh 3, Numbuh 4, Numbuh 1, and Numbuh 362 herself. AND THOSE STUPID BOYS CAN'T FIX IT!"

The kids resume their fight, Numbuh 411 slipping away without attracting attention. As she rounds a corner, she pulls out her recorder with a smile.


	5. Unauthorized Story

**Dedicated to you gossip girls.**

The once bustling lab is now loud with silence. None of them are truly able to process what they're seeing. If somebody is, in fact, believing their own eyes, they're profusely rejecting it.

Discreetly, the scientist with the syringe of temporary sedation slips to the shadows.

"Where is Numbuh 86 and Numbuh 60?" Numbuh 362 asks quietly with the roll of a British accent. Despite it being no more than a whisper, every soul has heard. When nobody responds, she clears her throat. "_Where are they_?"

Silence.

Huffing, the switched Leaduh marches to the exit. She turns back for a moment, and she looks at the cowering scientist.

"If the Kids Next Door burns because everybody's too scared to shut up and listen," she snarls, "I just want you to know how you helped... Nobody.

"Everyone else, keep researching. If there is anything, _anything at all_, that can get us back sooner, do it." The enraged kid walks out.

_Honestly, _Numbuh 362 thinks angrily as she approaches the stairs. _One would think that a big-time nerd like him would have some common sense._

Stumbling a bit in the shoes she has yet to adjust to, she climbs the winding case. She hears no deafening argument, which is no blessing in a search. Who knows how long they've been gone? The amount of damage already done can only be guessed. _Such brilliant operatives in the field, such loud nuisances anywhere else. Maybe TV _does _rot the brain._

As Numbuh 362 nears the top, she hears traces of chatter. They grow louder with every step. A weight slams into her gut, her mind insisting that something has gone horribly wrong.

The absolute moment she enters Moonbase's main deck, she is swarmed by a small crowd of operatives. They all have cameras, notepads or some similar object. She cringes at the flashes. She attempts to push her way through, but to no avail.

"Numbuh 1!" a voice from the back calls. "Is it true that members of the Kids Next Door are switching bodies?"

Numbuh 362 nearly splutters, but she manages to maintain a stoic exterior. "If it is, it'd be confidential. Now excuse me."

"Numbuh 1, Numbuh 1!" several more exclaim. She purses her lips at the spreading news, and she squeezes her way through the mass of children, pointedly ignoring the questions.

"Has anybody seen Numbuh 86 or Numbuh 60?" she shouts over the noise. At the shaking of heads, she huffs. She turns around, and she examines the area. Her sunglassed eyes land on the high, blonde ponytail of Numbuh 411. She watches the girl hand off a colorful magazine. Her eyes widen, a mental conclusion drawing up.

She walks to the journalist, placing a hand on her shoulder. Numbuh 411, who pulls pleased smile on, turns.

"Oh, Numbuh 1!" the girl says cheerfully. "Fancy seeing you here."

"What did you do?" Numbuh 362 growls. In the back of her mind is a plethora of scenarios, each one sprouting from the fact that every operative now knows of the incident.

Numbuh 411 frowns and cocks her head. "I'm sorry?"

"You told everyone!" Numbuh 362 shrieks. "Maureen Helen Thomas, do you not realize what you've done?!"

"You mean my job?" Numbuh 411 scoffs. "You have absolutely no right to tell me what to do, Numbuh 1!"

"I'm Numbuh 362, so I actually can! That information was private, and you shouldn't have spread it without authorization! Need I remind you of what the Kids Next Door policy states in Section C, paragraph thirty?"

"_Any details about any occurence pertaining to the Kids Next Door should immediately be considered sensitive. Therefore, the sharing of any said occurence through any method must be authorized by the Soopreme Leaduh or another operative of significant rank. _I know, I know!" Numbuh 411 runs her fingers through her hair with a sigh. "Please, you have to understand! _Gossip Kid _is at its acme because of this! This is the kind of juice people want! I even got Numbuh 363 to renew his subscription!"

"Numbuh 411," Numbuh 362 says in the calmest voice she can muster. "I know that this is your job and that you are getting amazing benefits right now, but I'm going to have to ask you to withdraw the story."

"But-"

"_I'm sorry_, Maureen, but the organization might get mass-attacked if the villains hear. It's for everybody's sake."

"Numbuh 362, I've sold all the copies!"

"Then you'll have to ask for them back." The Leaduh lets out a breath, her heartbeat returning to normal. She smiles to herself, silently congratulating herself for the well-done resolution. She spins on her heel, and she walks away.

"I do have authorization!" Numbuh 411 suddenly blurts. Numbuh 362 freezes in her place before looking to the reporter, who is furiously nodding at her statement. "The policy says that I can get permission from anybody with a high rank, and I have that!"

Numbuh 362 frowns. "From who?" she inquires slowly, already envisioning the worst.

"Numbuh 60 and Numbuh 86."

Her blood pounds in her ears, fresh fury settling in her gut. "And what exactly did they say?"

"They just said that a bunch of kids have switched bodies and that there's no cure," Numbuh 411 replies, obviously relieved that the heat has been fired at someone else.

"Where are they?" Numbuh 411 points to the left, and Numbuh 362's gaze follows it. At the entrance to a branching corridor are the missing operatives in a heated argument. Disbelief boils within the body that isn't even her own. "Thank you, for once. While you're screaming out important information, tell everyone to go to the Convention Center at oh five-hundred sharp."

Numbuh 362 races to her teammates, not caring how loud her stomps are.

"Hey!" she yells to them. Their heads simultaneously snap up from their verbal fight. "I need to talk to you guys."

**Just a quick update. If you didn't realize, Numbuh 411 is named after the journalist Helen Thomas.**

**Make sure to check out **_OPERATION: RETURN__**, **_**the rewritten and revamped version of our deleted story, **_**2034\. **_**Also check out **_OPERATION: DELIGHTFUL_**, which is only three updates from completion! Just ignore the multiple POV changes found in chapters 2-4; they get fixed.**

**Don't eat the silicone packets in seaweed, and have a great day!**


	6. Outlawed Fight

**Dedicated to the awesomely annoying.**

Frustration boiling under the skin that isn't even her own, Numbuh 362 hurries over to her unfortunately loud friends. They're torn in an argument -but, alas, that's the most normal thing here.

"If you could just shut up-"

"If I shut up, who's gonna tell you exactly what you're doing wrong?"

"I'm not going to pipe down and hide in my little corner like a coward just 'cause you can't stand not being right."

"If it weren't for you stupid boys, nobody wouldn't be in this position! Ugh, the world is gonna burn because of you idiots!"

"Tragic."

"Your face is tragic."

"That was uncalled for."

"Your face is uncalled for."

The switched Leaduh picks up her pace. Judging by the scowl on his face and the way his lips are curling back into a snarl, she knows that the retort is going to be ugly.

"Hey!" she calls. "I need to talk to you guys."

At the words, the bickering operatives turn, livid expressions red. Terrible rage leaves the air unbearably thick.

Numbuh 362 lets a breath whistle through her teeth, and she squares her shoulders as she joins their sides. Thankfully, Numbuh 1 isn't too short; instilling intimidation is a top priority.

"Any idea why I'm here?" Despite the metaphorical wildfire taking the KND by surprise, Numbuh 362 can't help but throw in a little fun. She crosses her arms at the silence. "Well?"

It takes all of her will just to smother her feelings.

"Fine, I'll tell you." She twists around, gesturing to a blonde girl in the middle of the spacious room. "See what Numbuh 411 is doing? She's recalling every new copy of Gossip Kid because they all have the switch story plastered across the covers. And guess where she got that story?"

Go on, guess, she thinks sourly. That would make my job so much easier.

Nothing.

She lets out a sickly fake laugh, terrible bitterness lining the edges. "Get this: Numbuh 411 said she got it from you two! But I know that isn't true. You guys would never go out and scream such a crisis right into her ear, destroying every bit of secrecy we may have had, would you?"

How she has obtained this savage sense is completely beyond her. A part of her is disgusted, the other delighted in some inhumane way. Oh, how she wishes it would go away forever, but, at the moment, this place is in dire need of consequences.

Numbuh 362's thoughts are interrupted by a mumbled slew of choice words. She snaps back in time to see Numbuh 86 (or, at least, that's who she thinks it is) shoot her companion a scathing look.

"Okay," the officer says, "so that was a dumb move, but it was on his part."

Numbuh 60's jaw drops in utter disbelief. "My part?" he asks in the roll of an accent that doesn't belong to him. "Listen, princess, I wasn't the one who told Numbuh 411 everything first!"

The need to intervene is knocked up ten whole levels, a hot flash of anger overcoming Numbuh 86's eyes.

"Stop it!" Numbuh 362 exclaims, and they fall silent at once. "Blaming each other isn't going to help anything. Now, from here on out, I want complete order. No fights, no insults, nothing." The two kids open their mouths to object, but they're promptly cut off. "I don't care what you two think, it's final. We don't need to give the others more reasons to panic. Just follow these orders, please. I think you at least owe me that much."

Something washes over their expressions, but it was too brief for Numbuh 362 to dwell on it.

"Yes, sir," Numbuh 86 and Numbuh 60 chorus, monotonous.

"Thank you." Relief and genuine appreciation flits through her momentarily. She spins on her heel, stalking off.

"Meeting at 0500," she says before leaving entirely. "Don't miss it."

* * *

Fangirl problem: RUNNING OUT OF 86/60 STORIES TO READ.


End file.
